Ode to Larry King...Quick thoughts as I wake up on a Tuesday morning

By Dan Nied

My bank freaked out like a little kid yesterday and refused to give me money. That nearly stranded us in the middle of rural California and caused me and my girlfriend to argue a little. So bank, if we break up, it’s totally on you. Stop interfering in my life and give me my cash...

I’m down with the Stanley Cup finals. Blackhawks-Flyers is an old timey battle that the purists can love. And the ferocity of the last 10 minutes of Game 2 illustrated exactly why hockey is truly an underrated sport...

Sarah Palin for Poet Laureate!...

At this point, I don’t really care who is at fault, I just want someone to stop the oil gushing into the gulf so I can go back to not thinking about the Gulf of Mexico at all. So should I boycott BP? Fine, I’ll do it. Should I say something like “Even though I support Obama, I think the administration screwed this up?” Ok, ok. I’ll say it. But just get this thing under control...

Oh, and anyone who says this is Obama’s Katrina is just too lazy to come up with a decent analogy. Actually, there is no decent analogy because nothing like this oil spill has ever happened. But in Katrina, the government stood idly by while poor people were trapped on their roofs and one of America’s great cities came crumbling down. When New Orleans is coated with oil, this can be Obama’s Katrina. Sad to say, I haven’t ruled that scenario out...

I don’t know where Ubaldo Jimenez came from. Before this season he was just another crappy major league pitcher with a slightly humorous name. Now the guy is outdueling Tim Lincecum and has 10 wins on June 1. This is unprecedented dominance on an otherwise pedestrian team. Problem is, is there any way this guy isn’t on HGH? I know he’s always had decent stuff, but this leap is almost unfathomable...

French Open: Call me at the semifinals, then I’ll (maybe) start to care...

I find it hard to take sides on the debate over illegal immigration. It’s the ultimate “Yeah, but...” topic...

Having a rough day? Well you have no choice other than to be cheered up by this...